Preparing Your Child for Change (cont.)

Caregivers, when your child returns to school, it is an adjustment for the whole family. It is best to start the new routine for school, or any change that would affect your family's routine, seven to ten days before that change initiates. This allows your child's body to adjust to the new sleep pattern. Also, structuring their morning routine and practicing that routine would be helpful. For example, does your child take their bath in the morning or the evening? If your child is a slow starter, a shower or a bath in the morning might help him or her get started for their day. A child that has difficulty falling asleep at night may want to bathe in the evening to help him or her relax before going to bed. Create a schedule that best meets your family's needs. It can be helpful for your child to create a checklist of tasks he or she needs to complete for school. If your child is not reading yet, you can create a pictorial checklist instead. This gives your child some independence, and you won't have to hover over your child or be the drill sargent.

Sample Checklist

• Lay out your clothing for school.
• Take your bath.
• Brush your teeth.
• Pack your lunch and put it in your backpack.
• Do you have homework or need to return library books?
• Place your backpack by the door.
• Take care of your pet.

Caregivers, this routine will take time and practice at first. If you are consistent with your expectations, your mornings will become less hectic.

Matthew's Thoughts

Matthew's mother called him into the house to get ready for bed. "School starts tomorrow, Matt. You need to go to bed earlier now," she said.
Matthew parked his bike and came into the house. "It's too early for bed, and the sun is still shining. How can I go to bed now?" Matt argued.
"Matthew, you need at least ten hours of sleep, so that your body can be rested for school," Matt's mother said patiently as he trudged into the house.

Preparing Your Child for Change

Caregivers, have your child draw a picture of their favorite adventure in the space below. Ask your child what they enjoy doing most with friends or with the family. Then gather any photographs you have of these activities and have your family write their comments next to the pictures. When completed, place them in photo album to which your family can write their comments next to the pictures. When completed, place them in a photo album to which your family has access. When their mood needs a lift, they can look at the album and recall those happy times together. If it is time for school to start, ask your child what they enjoy most about school. Then ask them what they dread about returning to school or attending school. Listen carefully to their concern and ask detailed questions so you can respond appropriately to alleviate any anxiety your child may have.

Matthew

School was starting tomorrow and Matthew didn't want to think about summer being over. His mother had just bought him new school supplies and clothing to get ready for second grade, but Matthew hated school. He never wanted summer to end. Matt couldn't read yet and didn't like being in the classroom all day. He also had trouble making friends and usually had no one to play with. Matthew thought about this as he rode his bike around the neighborhood and he couldn't think of one thing that was good about returning to school.

(page 13, to be continued!)

Introduction of Learning with Matthew

The purpose of this book is to help support all caregivers who want to teach their children positive ways to communicate their feelings and solve their problems. My hope is to help caregivers be more attentive to the behaviors their children display and learn to look behind the behaviors to the pain their children may be feeling.

Being a parent or a caregiver is one of the most difficult roles we have as an adult. We can become overwhelmed at times with the responsibility of raising and providing for our children. As parents, we are often challenged with each stage of growth and development our child presents. Then suddenly it is the first day of school, and we are filled with anxiety as we realize our children will now spend more time at school with their teacher and friends than they do at home. So when our children come home from school unhappy, it is very distressing to us. Your child may share with you that they are having difficulty at school with their academics, friends, teacher or athletic ability. As parents and caregivers, we try to support our children by listening to their concerns, and we will coach them on how to resolve the issues. A child's problems will evolve from the school environment because, for the next twelve years, it is their reflective world. Helping your child learn coping and communication skills will assist your child to resolve their issues proactively and increase their self-esteem.

This booklet is written in a narrative form so that you and your child can work through it together. The story presents a common problem of learning how to read. It displays how being a slow learner can affect a child's self-esteem and social skills. I will use a male character, Matthew through out this story even though these concern effect both males and females. As each problem is presented, I will then suggest possible solutions for your family to try together.

I will use the term "caregiver" throughout this booklet. I define the term "caregiver" as any individual who tries to make a difference in a child's life and believes that it "takes a village" to raise a child. I hope that as and your child learn this skills, it will help you lead happier lives and build stronger relationships.

Learning Disabilities

As a therapist working with many children who have learning difficulties, and as a parent of a child with learning disabilities, I highly recommend this book. Having a child struggling in the school system can be very stressful and confusing for the parent. Research shows that if learning difficulties are not addressed early and effectively, the child's educational struggles and the associated emotional problems will only escalate to negatively impact a child throughout his or her life.

Ms. Heyen's book, Learning with Matthew, empowers the parent with information and guidelines on what to do to address the child's needs and the steps to take towards resolving the problem. Children will also learn that their struggles and feelings are normal and there is help and hope. This book has been added to my list of resources that includes LD online, Schwab Learning, Internet Resources for Special Children, and Wrightslaw.

Kim Cross LSCSW
Kansas Attachment Center
www.ksattach.us

Learning with Matthew: A Caregiver's Guide to Problem-Solving School Issues with Their Child

Are you a parent or caregiver of a child who struggles academically or socially in the school environment?

Do you at times feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of providing for your child's well-being?

Learning with Matthew: A Caregiver's Guide to Problem-Solving School Issues with Their Child by author Gina Heyen is designed to enable parents and other caregivers to advocate for their children in the public school system and to teach children positive communication and problem-solving techniques. Learning with Matthew is accessible to caregivers and children alike by adjoining advice for adults with the story of Matthew, a little boy who struggles to learn how to read. Matthew's story will guide each caregiver to question change in a child's behavior, assess their academic and social skills, how to be proactive to resolve problems, build a support system, and view their success as a process. Learning with Matthew: A Caregiver's Guide to Problem-Solving School Issues with Their Child instructs caregivers how to recognize, analyze and ultimately solve their child's social issues.